Three Kindness

Resolutions

YOU NEED TO MAKE RIGHT NOW

I used to be a kinder person.

Back in 2014, I was really focused on kindness. I planned out acts of kindness for my birthday and asked my friends and family to perform their own kind acts as their gift to me. I posted tons on social media promoting kindness as a lifestyle. I was even invited to speak to a sweet Daisy troop about being kind!! This focus on kindness persisted for several years.

Next week is Random Acts of Kindness Week, which really reminded me of that time in my life and how much joy it brought me…and hopefully a few others.

I don’t know exactly when it faded into the background. As I look back, it was probably the new job, or a move (there have been a few of those). I got really focused on some urgent needs in my immediate family for a few years.

I mean, I didn’t turn into a scrooge or anything. I still say please and thank you and hold the door for people. I even return my shopping cart to the corral at the grocery store. But those intentional acts of kindness that I was so passionate about for several years had all but disappeared from my calendar. And that realization made me sad.

So last year I decided to do something about it.

I decided to make a few Kindness Resolutions for myself. And you might find that they sound like something that would benefit you as well!

3 kindness resolutions you need to make right now

Kindness Resolution #1:

Show some kindness to yourself.

I vowed to immediately cease beating myself up about not maintaining that 2014 level of kindness forever.

Things change. That’s all there is to it. We are all influenced by forces outside our control (hello, pandemic). While consistency is important in life, it’s equally important to give ourselves permission to do life imperfectly and to allow different seasons of life to bring different priorities.

The more important thing is to consistently re-evaluate our lives and make sure we are working to be the person we want to be today and moving forward. That’s the only place we have any influence anyway; the past is done.

So I resolved to show myself grace when I doon’t live up to my own (often unrealistic) expectations. I give you permission to do the same!

Be kinder to yourself. And then let your kindness flood the world.

-Pema Chödron

Kindness Resolution #2:

Schedule your kindness.

A blog post I wrote in December came to mind. During the holidays we are automatically focused outward towards others. Kindness seems to be everywhere. But the rest of the year it doesn’t seem to flow as naturally. (With the possible exception of Random Acts of Kindness Week.)

Life happens. We get busy. I read about a kindness idea that I think is amazing and would like to implement…and then the washing machine breaks, or my kid needs some money, or I realize a bill is late and…SHAZAM!! Mentally I have moved on without even realizing it.

We scramble to remember our own people’s birthdays in a timely manner, much less try to remember those special things for others. I truly believe most people mean well. It’s the execution that trips us up. Me included.

So I vowed to start putting my acts of kindness on my calendar. To make a list of ideas I want to implement and add them to the monthly planner. If there are some worthy causes I want to donate to, I will add them to my budget folder. When I read about an idea or an event that speaks to me, I’m going to add it to my to-do list.

Taking the time to decide ahead of time what it is you will do makes us more likely to follow through. If we have to decide on WHAT kind act to perform and then ALSO implement it we may find that’s asking too much of ourselves all at once. I may be speaking from experience here.

It can also be helpful to schedule things where other people are involved. They don’t have to be your people. In-person events where you interact with others (like working at a food pantry or donating at a blood drive) would be idea, but virtual events can work as well in the current climate. I find there is a bit more motivation and momentum if you aren’t always flying solo.

This practice of scheduling my kindness has turned into the Kindness Intentions that you see in Weekend Confetti and on social media. Not only am I planning ahead, but I’m also creating some personal accountability by telling others what I’m planning to do.

If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet: how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of.

-Mr. Rogers

Kindness Intention #3:

Cultivate kindness awareness.

Part of implementing kindness is just noticing where it is needed. I tend to move through my days with blinders on, thinking about what’s going on with me. It’s important to cultivate a mindset shift where we are actively looking for ways to show kindness in our daily life, seeing how we can bring joy to the people we are interacting with.

The flip side of this awareness is learning to notice the kindness being shown all around me. We tend to focus on the crisis or the negative. But there are a lot of people out there going about there days with kindness if we stop and look.

A Mr. Rogers quote that stays with me: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping’.”

Isn’t that lovely? You will always find people who are helping. Even in the worst of circumstances. I want my focus to be on those people.

If what you focus on, grows, then I want my focus to be on the kindness being shown in the world, don’t you?

Let’s resolve to be kinder.

This Random Acts of Kindness Week, I hope you will resolve to start focusing on seeing the kindness in the world: where it is being shown and where it is needed most.

You can make the world a better and more joyful place, one kind act at a time. I’m so thankful for people like you.