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How to Write a



When someone asks you, Why do you love me? do you know what to say? Often we are left stuttering: Um, well, because….let’s see….

Just because you KNOW you love someone doesn’t mean you automatically can articulate WHY.

There are a million reasons you might love your people. And if you ask Google for ‘reasons I love you’ it can provide tons of lists other people have made.

But nothing can top taking the time to create and curate your very own list of reasons!

So let’s figure out how to answer that question once and for all! Because the people we love deserve to know exactly why they are so important in our lives.

First, set aside some uninterrupted time to give this very important question some thought. Take 15 or 50 minutes, whatever you need, and sit and start to really think about the person you love.

Make some notes about anything that springs to mind, no matter how silly. No censoring!! As Mr. Perfect says, Everything Goes On the Whiteboard!  Later is for picking your best ideas, now we just want to get your mind in gear.

You can even take a day or two for this exercise! Keep your list with you to add ideas as they come to you.

Here are some suggestions on what to think about.

1. Reflect on happy memories.

Think about family vacations, birthdays, dinners, date nights or last week’s pizza party! Think about what made those moments special. Is it because everyone gets along so well? Because of a shared sense of humor? The good food? The tradition?

Now consider how your loved one contributes to what is so special about those times together. Are they the organizer of events? Are they the story-teller? Or are they the chef whose meals gather everyone around the table together?

2. Look at what you admire about their life.

Think about the way your loved one lives their life. What are their core values, their habits, their personality traits? If you were to describe them to someone else, what would you say? Is it their authenticity, their strong faith, their work ethic?

That should give you some great information. Now ask yourself how you personally have benefitted from your loved one’s best qualities. If they have an amazing work ethic, perhaps they have provided for you above and beyond. If they are incredibly authentic, perhaps they have taught you to be true to yourself.

3. Think about their physical traits.

This might sound a little superficial or corny, but it can be really useful! Perhaps you love your mom’s curly hair, and you inherited it! Or maybe your loved one is very physically fit – and you love that they take such good care of themselves.

And if you are making a list of reasons you love your partner then they will totally be happy to hear about the ways you admire them physically! (Just make sure those aren’t the only ones on the list!)

4. Consider their interests and how they spend their free time.

What lights your person up? What are their hobbies and passions? What about those things do you admire or appreciate?

Perhaps your loved one is a gardener and you love how their green thumb provides vegetables and flowers for the household. Or maybe your person is a baseball fan and you love how they have donated their time to coaching little league.

5. Think about how your loved one inspires you personally.

The people we love usually inspire us to be our best selves. So how does your loved one inspire you?

Perhaps they are outstanding in their chosen field and that has informed your career choice. Maybe their healthy, happy marriage has motivated you to be a better spouse. Perhaps they have always been there for you and that has inspired you to be a good listener.

Think about the kind of person you are trying to be; how has your loved one inspired you to be that best version of yourself?

6. Think about how your loved one treats others.

The way our loved ones treats the other people in their lives is a great place to find reasons to love them. (Often they treat us the same positive way, but it’s easier to see in their other relationships!)

Spend some time observing your person. How do they interact with other family members? What kind of realtionships do they have with their closest friends? How do they treat the grocery store clerk or the waiter at their favorite restaurant?

7. Consider what they DON’T do.

Sometimes when we are trying to think of the good stuff, we get stuck. A great way to get the ideas flowing is to look at it backwards! Make a list of all the traits and habits our loved one DOESN’T have…and then flip that around.

For example, perhaps your loved one is NOT a workaholic. You could turn that around and say you love that they have a good work-life balance or good boundaries which make spending time with family a priority.

8. Get feedback from other people.

It’s important to FIRST take the time to think for yourself why you love your person. But there is also value in getting a fresh perspective from another source.

Ask friends and family members what they love about your special person. Their answers may spark some additional ideas you hadn’t thought of yet.

Got your list!? 

Great job! By now you should have been able to brainstorm tons of great ideas about this special person in your life. 

Now is the time to weed out some of the lesser ideas and choose the best ones for your final list.

A heartfelt list of 10 things is incredibly special; your list doesn’t need to be 100 things (but don’t let me stop you if you are feeling ambitious!)  

Final two words for you: PRESENTATION MATTERS.

Don’t go to all the trouble of creating this amazing list and then just hand it over on a piece of scrap paper! NoNoNo!

There are plenty of simple and quick ways to present your list that will elevate it from a sweet gesture to Best.Gift.Ever status!

Here are a few ideas:

♥Create a word cloud! This one is so easy and can be done in just a few minutes. You could frame it or roll it up and tie with a ribbon.

♥Make a jar full. Write your reasons on slips of paper and put them in a decorative glass jar.

♥Fill in the blanks. Purchase a pre-made Why I Love You book and just fill it in!

♥Create your own book. Purchase a blank book and hand write your reasons (along with photos or any other decorations, if you like). Etsy has a lot of sweet options (like this) to choose from.

♥Simple and sweet. Print out this page and fill in your reasons (or create your own printable in Canva!).

Regardless of the number of items on your list, and regardless of the presentation, there is no question that your heartfelt list of Things I Love About You will be a huge hit. We all want to hear the reasons we are loved. Taking the time and effort to make this special list shows how much you care.

This is what they mean by ‘it’s the thought that counts’. Happy List Making!

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